What Does It Mean to Be a Mom

Hi everyone!  I hope all of you had a wonderful Mother's Day.  Mine was perfect.  Sunday morning we went to Christ Church of Magnolia where our son is the pastor.  Following church, my sweet son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter took us out to lunch.  My Mother's Day gift was the coolest, self-inking address stamp.  I love it so much!  On the way home, we stopped by our daughter's house.  She, along with her husband and my two precious grandsons gave me a charm for my bracelet.  It has the sweetest mother and child on it.  I am so blessed to have such a sweet family.  Oh, and  I don't want to forget the lovely perfume and  body lotion set my wonderful husband gave me.  Thanks, Babe!

Now on to the subject of this entry.  What does it mean to be a Mom?   I am one  of those  really antiquated women who knew from the time I was a little girl God's plan for me  was to be a wife and a mother.  My baby dolls were the best cared for in town.   Flash forward to 1976 when I had my first "real" baby.  Our daughter was born during Allan's last semester of law school.   Believe it or not,  we planned it  this  way.  (I know.  What were we  thinking?)  We  had one car,  Allan was working  and going to school,  and I was home with a baby who only slept in 15 minute intervals, who was allergic  to milk, and who suffered from colic for the first three months of her life.   I  loved  this baby more than life itself, but the ideas I had of being the perfect Mom disappeared.  I found out being a Mom means accepting the fact you aren't perfect, and still trying really hard anyway.

When our daughter was around 4 months old, we moved back  to Florida.  The hardest  part of this was  not  having  any family around.    Our son was  born in 1978.  He slept a lot and was such an easy baby.  I guess this was God's gift to me to balance out the difficulties of my first experience.  Don't get me wrong.  I never blamed  our baby daughter for the rough road we traveled together.  I blamed myself.  Somehow I just knew her problems  were the  result of my shortcomings as her mother.  For me, being a Mom meant  carrying  a lot of guilt.

After the baby stage, things smoothed out for me, and I began to get a little more confident in my abilities to mother my children.  I was a room mother for one or both, and I weathered the challenges that seemed to present themselves even  when our children were young.  I tried to rely on  my intuition which I have always regarded as God's way of guiding  Mom's, and for the most part this never let me down.  I did find that sometimes what my intuition told me to do flew in the face of what was currently regarded as the more popular (and/or acceptable) methods of child rearing.  For instance, I was (and still am) a believer in seeing each child as an individual.  Some are  ready for certain experiences before others,  some have to ponder new skills and figure them out before they attempt them while others like to literally hit the ground running.  I have just always believed there is a distinct purpose for each  stage of life ~ babyhood, toddlerhood, childhood,  preteen, adolescence ~ you get the picture.  And I truly believe each stage should be experienced in the way that comes naturally to each individual child.  (I will explain  how I came to this conclusion  another time.)  This is when I  learned a Mom has to be a devoted advocate for her child/children.  She must also be strong enough to buck the system and to fight for what she thinks is right  for her child, even if it means  confrontation  with said system.  Now I knew being a Mom meant being strong in your convictions and being brave when it comes to defending  them.

The teenage years were the toughest for me  as a Mom.   We faced a lot of challenges during  those years as a family.  No matter  what the struggles we were  going  through,  Allan and  I always participated in our children's activities.  We also continued to be advocates for our children when necessary.   In retrospect, we realize we trusted our children too much, and we also really were clueless as to the amount of peer pressure they were dealing with.  I think, as a Mom, I felt the fact I had always put my children before almost everything else would somehow protect them from all potential negative influences.  I believed, since I had always regarded them as gifts from God, that God Himself would somehow imbue them with extraordinary heavenly protection.  I know.  It's hard to believe I could be so naive.  This is when I learned being a Mom is really, really tough.

In 1995, Casey had his accident.  I won't go into the details here.  I may never really discuss them, because the facts don't exactly match a lot of the information that has circulated in the last going  on 16 years.  I have always believed I should let people believe what  they will, because I still have my son and this should be enough.  I will say this  was the longest, darkest time of our lives.  Before you start thinking, "Okay,  now here comes the  pity party.",  I have to say it also began a time of miracles and of closer communion with God for our family.  I am contemplating doing  a "miracle" post now and then.  It isn't my intention  to preach (Our son  is so much better at that than I am.) nor is my intention to project an attitude of self-righteousness.  I only want to encourage those who might read  this  blog and find hope through my life experiences.

But I digress.  The whole  point  of  this  post was to try to touch briefly on what  I feel it means  to be  a Mom.  Let me  see if I can say it simply and concisely.  Being a Mom means wanting  the best for your child and at the same time being a little  forgiving of yourself if you can't always give your best.  Being  a  Mom  means following your instincts and doing  what you believe is best for your individual child rather than to conform to what everyone else thinks you should or should not be doing.  Being  a Mom is loving  your child for who he/she is, not for his/her exceptional  intelligence,  his/her outstanding talent, or his/her "cute as a button" appearance.  Being  a Mom is realizing that parenting books can be helpful, but also realizing every child is different.  It's okay to use these books as references , but not as parental laws that are to govern  every child.  Being a Mom is not comparing your child's development unfavorably with another child's.  No child has ever gone to kindergarten  in diapers, for instance, so don't fret if your child isn't potty trained by the time he/she is two (or 18 months or whatever the goal of the moment is).  Being  a Mom is loving  your teenager even when they are at their most frustrating and also having the strength to be their parent, not their friend.  Being a Mom is letting your children fly away when the time comes ~ with no strings attached.  It also means letting your children know the door to your heart remains forever open any time they need to return and sit with you awhile.

Until next time. . . 

Around Sugar Land

As most of you know I live in Sugar Land which is a suburb of Houston.  Our family moved to this area in 1991, so we have witnessed a lot of the changes that have occurred in our neighborhood in the last 20 years.  And there have been a lot of changes.

When we first moved out here, there was no mall, no movie theatre, no hospitals ~ no a lot of things.  We used to see herds of deer when we would  drive up the ramp to get on Highway 59.  We also had a lot of deer sightings ~ such beautiful, graceful animals.  There was a lot of open spaces which are now all built up.  Don't get me wrong.  I love having so many of the things I need and want between 5 and 10 minutes away from where  I live.  On the other hand, I sometimes miss the natural, untouched feeling of living so close to nature. 

When I began my photographic journey, I decided I would search my neighborhood for things people don't expect to find in such a well established area. I have to say I have been pretty amazed at some of the things I have seen. If my photography has done nothing else, it has taught me to be a lot more cognizant of what is around me. I thought I would share some of the photos of the things I have discovered in my own "backyard".

I guess what I want you to think about today is what you might be missing by not taking the time to look around you.  We all get so busy, we miss some really special moments.  I hope you enjoy the photos.  I truly loved taking them.

Until next time. . .